Liquid Thoughts13

There is a fable about a thirsty crow. It finds a bottle with a bit of water left at the bottom. The problem is, its beak cannot reach through the neck of the bottle and it doesn’t tip the bottle fear the sun-baked ground guzzle it up. So the crow gathers up a pebble in its beak and plops it into the bottle. Clunk, it hits the bottom of the bottle. Then it gathers up another pebble. And another. Until it is able to raise the level of water enough for it to drink.

Standing in my grandparent’s living room while the doctor tended to my grandfather in the other room, that was all I could think about. I was desperately looking for something positive. I needed an outlet. I needed to reach the water – something to set me free of all this. But all I had to answer for anything were my lies.

I had left Greg standing there. He gave up on me. Did he expect me to stay? He was the one who had lift in the first place. I had told Sybil and she agreed, saying he wasn’t worth a word from me.

Clunk

I would do anything to talk to him.

Clunk

I am still in love with Greg.

Sybil, my best friend in the whole world, she was better than anyone I knew and I would never turn her away if she ever needed me.

Clunk

I hated hearing her complain about petty things like arguments over types of bread with her boyfriend and how annoying her boss was.

Clunk

I was jealous of her happiness.

Isaac was my childhood friend and my brother. I could tell him anything because we had a bond through years together – unlike Sybil – and no matter what, I knew that there was nothing I couldn’t tell him.

Clunk

I told him I was completely over Greg the day after I left the park. That I had looked at things realistically and that he wasn’t worth it.

Clunk

I lied to him and myself.

The doctor has come out of the room, he’s talking to me but I’m barely paying attention. My grandfather had gone into a critical condition when they called me.

Clunk

Why wasn’t it my grandmother? She was the one killing herself.

  “I’m afraid he didn’t make it…” the doctor blabbers on.

Clunk

I have filled up the bottle only to realize that there was no water in it in the first place.